The Baggins Girls
by Riquashea
Summary: Amethyst and Penny Baggins are not the usual hobbits. The twin sisters have no skill in gardening or cooking, suffer equally wonderful cases of wanderlust, and they refuse to adhere to both hobbit and Baggins tradition! So when their cousin Bilbo Baggins runs by their Hobbit hole one day for an 'adventure' they really just can't resist.
1. Holy Crap What Am I Doing

The sun was shining, the breeze cooling the smials of Hobbiton, and the Baggins twins were bored. Really, _really_ , bored. So bored that Penny had decided that using Lobelia's front door and windows as target practice was a good idea.

"You're going to break something." Grinning towards her equally amused and 'peace disturbing' sister, Penny motioned to the sweet smelling pie sitting on the front window sill.

"What do you bet I can make that shot?"

"No way, thats at least five yards!" Penny waggled her eyebrows and lined up her smooth pebble for the shot. It happened in the blink of an eye, as the elder troublemaker let the stone slip through her fingers, Lobelia opened her creaky window.

 _Splat!_

Amethyst stood stock still and quietly turned to her twin. "We have five seconds before she-" A screech interrupted the brunette. Grabbing Penny, who was laughing so hard it turned her already flushed face an alarming shade of violet, Amethyst ran for cover towards their cousin Bilbo's. Red faced and covered in steaming black berry pie was Lobelia, rushing after them. Her sister, finally over her fit of giggles, snatched her twins pale wrist and started running in ernest.

They ran all the way across the Shire, passing colorful gardens and rolling green fields, coming to a rest at their cousin Bilbo's home, Bag End. Their 'proper' cousin sat outside smoking what smelled undoubtably like Old Toby. He glanced up took notice of the twins harried, panting forms and sighed to himself.

"What've you done now?" The twins looked at each other grinning and a new fit of giggles overtook them. Penny flopped onto the ground, staining her trousers in the process. Following after her elder twin, Amethyst smoothed her skirts and regaled Bilbo with their story, embellishing it. Five yards became twenty and instead of being splattered with her prized blueberry pie, Lobelia became _soaked_. There were a few times throughout the story when Bilbo would have to catch himself from laughing at the girls's antics.

"See you later Bilbo! We're probably not coming over for dinner!" Soon enough the girls had disappeared down the path and it left Bilbo to wonder what it would be like to go on an adventure...

'No matter. It's not like I'll ever have the chance, or even the desire to go on such an awful thing!'

Back at their home, the twins found themselves eating and getting ready for bed.

"Amethyst?" The elder twin turned to face her sister, bed creaking in the process. "Do you think we ever will go on a proper adventure? One with Elves and monsters and a prince or a knight of a forgotten kingdom that'll just swoop in and take us off to go on more adventures?" Looking at Penny, that wistful expression on her face, Amethyst sighed and smiled tightly.

"Penny, the pranks and wandering around the woods are amazingly fun, but I don't know if we'll ever get the chance, you know?." Penny's hopeful smile cracked a little bit and she turned around to face the wall.

"Yeah, I guess."


	2. Ummmm, Adventure?

Early the next morning, the sun rose to merrily shine into the twins' shared bedroom rousing Amethyst then Penny in quick succession. The noises of a waking Shire filtered into their home waking Amethyst even further, her elder sister was a different case. Penny's feet slapped against the floor as she stumbled around in a half doze, trying to untangle her hair, a lost cause, and not crash into things. Unfortunately for the long suffering furniture, Penny's customary stumbling sent her straight into the oak dresser. Amethyst was sitting on her bed arranging the thin hair on her feet when her sister went down, but she wasn't startled. Even though Penny,"had the best balance and aim of all the hobbits in Middle Earth", when she was sleepy all bets were off.

"Amethyst, help me up!" Penny drew out the last syllable, knowing it would hasten her sister's pace. Crossing the room with three long strides, shoulders shaking from quiet giggles, the younger twin helped her elder sister off the floor and onto her bed. She opened the checkered curtains beside Penny's blanket laden bed, letting the warmth of the sunshine gradually rouse the sleepy hobbit. When Amethyst finished settling her dozing sister, she sat on the red cushioned stool at the base of their wonderfully carven mirror, Bilbo had gotten it for them in exchange for warding off Lobelia, and started tugging one of their mothers wooden combs through her hair.

Gazing at her reflection, Amethyst wondered how twins could be so similar and different at the same time. It was easy to slide the comb through her own waves, but for Penny it took half an hour's work with the toughest brush they owned to untangle one side of her head. In fact the combs, brushes, and hair ornaments were a wedding gift from their father to their mother, passed on to them when their mother died and father disappeared.

Amethyst sighed. Even thinking about her father with his rambling and ridiculous theories was enough to cast a shadow over her mood.

"Thinking about father?" The question was rhetorical. Amethyst only sighed when their father was involved, but she nodded to her twin anyways.

"I just don't understand why he had to leave, and why he didn't tell us where he was going." Rocking her legs up and down until she was vertical, Penny grinned, the tips of her gums revealing themselves to her sister.

"He probably went off on an adventure! It _was_ him that we inherited our 'wanderlust' from, Mother said so!" Amethyst chuckled at her sister's childish phrasing. Even though they were both six years past their majority, and Penny being about three inches taller than everyone else, her elder sister would always finish a quote from their mother with those exact words.

"I'm going to get dressed, do we know what's for breakfast?" Penny's complaining stomach was enough to motivate the elder twin to start getting ready for the day. Sticking her head and arms into one of her more sturdy shirts and tugging on some long trousers from her dresser, the elder twin was ready for mischief. And breakfast.

Letting the fresh air in by opening the front door was a tradition started by the twins' mother. To this day they still followed all of her traditions to the letter, their fathers old habits were different. They made sense only if you were on an adventure such as; 'always wear a jacket the more fur the better, braid your hair it helps in a fight,' and 'no you mothers casserole is not a weapon.'

That was one thing Amethyst inherited from her mother they were not the best cooks to say the least.

In fact, Amethyst was probably the one person you should never allow to step within 100 feet of any of your crops. At one point she had managed to disintegrate one of Bilbo's pots, completely on accident of course! However, when needed, she was the twin with exceptionally 'sticky' fingers

"So what's on the menu?" Turning to respond to her sister, she was interrupted by Penny's growling stomach. Laughing with jubilance they only found in each other, both of the sisters almost missed Bilbo running past their front gate.

Suddenly stopping her giggle fit, Penny turned to Amethyst with the most panicked expression the younger twin had ever seen on her face. Grabbing her younger sister's arms, Penny shook her sightly.

"Amethyst this is not a laughing matter! Cousin Bilbo just ran by our from gate!" Wiping a tear from the corner of her eye, Amethyst responded with a doubtful glance.

"What does it matter if Bilbo is in a hurry to get somewhere?" Sighing forcefully Penny rolled here eyes and ran off towards the bedroom, almost face planting into a wall when she tried to avoid their couch. "What are you doing?" Amethyst was starting to get worried for her sister. Returning with two large packs, filled to the brim, and an exuberant flush on her cheeks Penny shoved one in Amethyst's direction. Catching the proffered pack Amethyst moved in front of her sisters path. "Tell me what you are doing! Please? I'm getting worried."

Smiling gently, Penny laid her hands on her sisters shoulders.

"Bilbo looks as if he's going on an adventure and we're going to follow him."

Staring dumbly at her twin, Amethyst watched as Penny opened the closet and pulled out their father's old traveling pack. Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, Amethyst huffed an incredulous breath.

"How do you know?" Penny looked up from her rummaging, the leather the pack was made of crinkled in the process, searching her sister's face Penny relaxed. Smirking, she returned to her search and a few seconds later found what she was looking for. An old map, browned and folded, was in one hand while her other hand gripped something Amethyst hadn't seen in a long time. Their father's sword.

"I was visiting Bilbo last night but he had company, and a lot of it. It was _thirteen dwarrows_ and a _wizard!_ They're going to reclaim Erebor and fight a dragon and we're going to help them!" Penny was grinning so hard, Amethyst was reminded painfully of their father. Always smiling with that ridiculous mustache, always wanting to go on an adventure, and in the end he left them. Alone.

That was never going to happen again.

"Alright sister mine, when are we going?" Penny's face lit up even further.

"Right now!"


	3. Shut Up And Dance

The twins had been following the company for only ten minutes before Amethyst knew they were lost.

"We're not lost! They set out on this road and I know we're almost there!" Glancing at the lowering sun and the land around them Amethyst sighed and tugged on her over skirt. Looking at her downtrodden twin, Penny stopped.

"Amethyst really, I've been down this road many times with father!" That did nothing to placate her younger sister, in fact it only served to make her even more anxious. But just as Amethyst was about to voice her doubts Penny spotted the company.

"There they are! Didn't I tell you we'd get here!" Laughing in inexplicable relief, Amethyst reached an arm towards her sister and rushed after her. 

"Oh no." Dwalin turned back to the moaning hobbit, eyebrows held tightly in annoyance.

"What is it burglar, forget something else?" The curly haired being sighed and rubbed his hairline.

"No, well yes, but no, kind o-"

"Just spit it out!" Dwalin had delt with this hobbit all of twelve minutes and he already wanted to bludgeon him.

"My cousins, I didn't tell them where I was going and they're going to be furious." Intrigued by the burglars family, Ori guided his pony so he was beside Bilbo.

"What're they like Mister Baggins?" Taking out his quill and parchment, the young scribe looked at Bilbo expectantly. Blinking at Ori's interest, Bilbo smiled and immersed himself in describing his scandalous relatives.

"Well their names are Penny and Amethyst, they were named by their father, and they're related to me by their mother. Dora married an outsider named Terus around the time I was born. I grew up with them and I have never known two people to be more troublesome. Even though they're twins, Penny takes more after her father and Amethyst inherited more from Dora. Although, whenever the sun shines on their eyes, I swear I'm looking straight at their father. They both are extremely good at sewing and crafting things, just like Jiard! Ever since his disappearance and Dora's death several years ago, Penny's taken to wearing his adventuring coat whenever she has an opportunity. She also wears _trousers,_ no matter what the situation. Dora however wears only green dresses. They've always wanted to go on an adventure, even though Amethyst's mouth gets them into and out of sticky situations faster than hobbits to a good meal and Penny always uses people as target practice, mainly Lobelia mind you, they both create trouble. Actually I remember-"

While Bilbo was describing his family to Ori, the rest of the company had started listening with a careful interest.

Listening particularly well were Fili and Kili, snickering at some of the twins' more ridiculous antics. Kili nudged his brother's arm and smirked. Nodding in agreement Fili turned to the burglar.

"Mister Boggins, why didn't we get to meet these relatives of yours?" Huffing, Bilbo pursed his lips.

"The girls live in another smial across Hobbiton, there's no way you'd run into them unle-" He was interrupted again, however the voice was distinctly female.

"Bilbo Baggins how dare you!" Stopping to look at the new comers the company saw two girls almost exactly as Bilbo described. Two identical looking faces, one of them flushed, framed by a different consistencies of curls. The one who had spoken, Penny, had a long leather coat over a pair of blue trousers with a sword strapped across her back. The slightly shorter twin, Amethyst, who was giggling for some reason, wore a bright green short dress with strange leather socks. Bilbo gaped rather unattractively at his two relatives making the shorter one laugh even harder.

Hearing the disturbances behind him, Thorin stopped his pony and turned around.

"You are the cousins?" Looking at the company leader's _extremely unamused_ expression, Penny elbowed her sister in the ribs and bowed, Amethyst copied and speaking to him.

"We are Penny and Amethyst at your service and your family's, we are here to aid you on you journey whatever way we can at no cost to you." Thorin's eyebrow arched.

'The shorter one, Amethyst, the sister with the silver tongue and the elder sister, Penny, who uses others as target practice.' Turning to Gandalf he repeated his intentions.

"I will not be responsible for their fate."


	4. This Dragon Is Really Pissed Off

The company traveled the rest of the day, almost getting lost twice, before making camp in a small clearing. There was a clear brook next to the campsite allowing fishing and access to clean water. The ground was slightly wet and the entire wooded area carried the scent of rain.

Laying out their sleeping rolls on a dry patch of grass, Amethyst wondered how long this journey would take. 'Of course Penny wouldn't care about how long it would take, she just wants to go on an adventure with a bunch of Darrows.' Sighing at her twin's excitable nature, Amethyst missed a certain prince staring at her from across the fire.

Kili had never seen a hobbit before Mr. Baggins and even when he and Fili had walked through their little town, the Hobbits were scarce. Amethyst and Penny Baggins were going to be great fun, he already knew from what Mr. Baggins had told them and from what he had seen. Penny had that unmistakable glint of a troublemaker in her eye and Amethyst was the same. The prince turned and stared at the younger sister from across the fire.

Even though they were twins the Hobbits had many small differences that made it easy to tell them apart. One of the biggest differences was Penny's hair. It was, in a word, wild and it gave off a slight red shine under the sun. Amethyst was shorter than her sister by about two inches, so along with their different clothing choices it wasn't very hard to tell them apart. It was curious how both of the twins were taller than their cousin although he was, presumably, older than them. Kili was also intrigued by the sword attached to Amethyst's belt.

It was hidden by the sheath it was in and the folds of Amethyst's dress, but from what Kili could see the sword was a little shorter than a short sword. On Bilbo it would've been disproportionately large but the girls were taller and heavier in build so it didn't quite look so strange when they were holding it. The sheath was finely decorated by what looked like embroidered Dwarvish letters an-

Kili paused.

With wide eyes, and a small bit of fear, Kili elbowed his brother until he got Fili's attention.

"What? What is it?" Fili was curious and looked at where his little brother was staring. The smaller hobbit sister had taken off her sword from her hip and was now tracing the sheath with wondering fingers. She had laughed at something Penny said a moment before and her face was a soft pink, highlighted by the fire. Raising an eyebrow Fili glanced at his brother and smirked. "So you have taken a liking to the little hobbit?" Kili's head quickly snapped to the side.

"No I haven't!" His brother's denial made Fili smirk harder and the cajoling began.

"Aw, that's so adorable brother."

"I'm telling you I don't have any crush of any kind!"

"You don't have to hide it!"

"I do not have a crush!"

Their argument was getting louder and louder by the moment and soon they held the attention of no less than half the company. Finally Kili had enough of his brother's fun.

"I do not have a crush on the hobbit!"

"Then why are you staring?!" Fili's was grinning by this point.

"Because there is Kuzdul on that sheath!"

The camp was silent, and as what the youngest prince had said sunk into their heads, they turned to Amethyst. Right there on the sheath of her sword were embroidered Kuzdul letters.

The silence of the camp had caught Thorin's attention and when he saw what the rest of the company had seen, his face twisted in a furious scowl.

"What kind of mockery is this?"


End file.
